Every year about this time, my hands become very dry and cracked. It is extremely painful as the skin on the backs of my hands, between my fingers, and on my knuckles crack and bleed. This continues until the spring. For several years I have used udder ointment on my hands before I go to bed, sometimes covering them with gloves to keep the moisture in. I only use it at bedtime because it is extremely greasy and it would be difficult to do my tasks during the day with so much grease on my hands. The purpose of udder ointment is exactly what you are thinking it is... it's for cows. Recently, my friend Morgan told me a about a lotion called udder delight, it serves the same purpose as udder ointment for cows, but works better for us because it is not greasy and can be used more often.
I had a funny experience last night when I went to HCT with my friends Char and Kimmy. The musical was My Fair Lady and it was excellent; I loved the stage sets, the singing, and especially the costumes. I was really excited when I discovered that our seats were on the second row. I mentioned to Char that we were sitting so close, we would be able to see the sweat fly off of the actors. Sure enough, the first time I saw spit spewing from Henry Higgins mouth, Char and I turned and looked at each other with big smiles on our faces. After the intermission, and just as the show resumed, I realized that I needed some lotion on my hands. I reached into my purse and found my lotion and squeezed some onto my hand. Just as I started to rub it in a big glob of lotion flew out of my hand and landed on the shoulder of the lady sitting in front of me. I was mortified. What should I do? She hadn't noticed, but I couldn't stop staring at it. She was wearing a coat and I was trying to decide if it looked expensive or not, I wasn't sure if the lotion would leave a stain. I continued to watch the show, but my eyes kept returning to look at the big-pink-glob. I thought about just reaching down and flicking it from her shoulder, but I knew the person sitting next to her would see me do it, and... what if I flicked it right into Henry Higgins spit-spewing mouth. Ohhhh, what to do, what to do? When the show ended I decided I had to say something to the lady; as she stood and turned around I leaned towards her and said (so that hopefully only she could hear), "I dropped a little lotion on your coat." She was an older lady with white curly hair, her smile couldn't have been any brighter as she said, "it's okay... my coat will smell really nice." I smiled and told her thank-you, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell her... your coat smells like udder delight!
Has anyone else had a similar or mortifying story like this? I'd love to know about it.
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The Mutual Girls in my home town were always asked to serve at banquets, dinners and parties. We were taught the proper way to deliver and retrieve the plates and to refill water glasses, etc. I remember we were serving at a dinner for the Hinckley High School Reunion when I was 13 and the desserts were strawberry shortcake. We had picked up dinner plates and were serving the plates of cake covered in strawberries, sauce and whip cream. I took two plates off a tray and turned to deliver them. The turning motion cause a stream of sauce to sail off the plate and make a perfect line of red across the tan jacket of a gentleman sitting at an adjacent table. I was mortified beyond belief, but he was completely unaware of what I had just done to him. I put down those plates and fled to the kitchen where I burst into tears. My sweet advisor, Marg Cox, took a wet sponge and a towel and went out and explained what had happened and cleaned the streak of strawberry sauce off the coat.
That was about 37 years ago and I still remember it as vividly as if it had just occurred.
My first day of 7th grade I was sitting all by myself in the lunch room. I had gotten a salad (I of course thought I was fat, so I ate salad all through Jr. High) with cherry tomatoes. I took a bite into a cherry tomato and the juice squirted out in a major way onto a girl one table over. She turned and looked at me and I seriously pulled the "I'm going to look left and right to see who could have done that terrible thing because of course I have not..." and I was sitting by nobody of course so it just made me look like an idiot. She was not very happy with me.
Not quite, but it reminded me of a time we were having dinner with some friends, and Mike was eating stew. The stew was hot and as Mike had the spoon raised to his mouth he blew on it several times. Finally our friend across the table said, "Please stop blowing on that, you're blowing on my face!"
We all laughed.
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