Ashleigh-o

It was a beautiful spring day on May 13, 1987. I had just been given an epidural and was alone in my hospital room for a few minutes. I glanced out of the window and could see hospital staff participating in a walk-a-thon doing laps around the grounds. I turned my attention back to the room and thoughts of my baby soon to be born. What were we going to name him. All of my boys had names when they were born and we hadn't chosen a name for a boy and here I was about to give birth to a nameless son. I wanted a baby daughter so badly, I had prayed for a daughter, we even had a name for a daughter. Several months earlier, Andy (9) had suggested that we pick a name for the baby that started with A and ended with Y. His reason made sense, Jeffrey (7) and Jeremy (3) both started with J and ended with Y, so he needed someone with letters like his. One day soon afterwards, as Mike and I sat enjoying lunch in a Sizzler in downtown Salt Lake City the cutest little girl toddled over to our table and stopped and stared at us. "Ashley," we heard someone call to her. We looked at each other and simultaneously said, "Ashley! that starts with A and ends with Y." We had a girls name, but did we have a girl? I didn't have much time to dwell on my thoughts for it was time for the delivery room. Mike and my Doctor, Ray Sumsion, both wore masks and all that I could see were their eyes. I will forever have the picture of that moment imprinted in my memory when the baby was delivered and the Doctor started to laugh. He didn't say a word, but his eyes sparkled as he held the baby up for me to see. It was a girl!! A beautiful baby girl. We laughed and we cried. Dr. Sumsion laughed with us and told us that he had never seen a reaction quite like that before. Life with our baby girl was great! Everything at our house turned pink. Her boys (she always called them "my boys") loved her, we loved her, she loved all of us. Life was good. It is obvious by the title of this post that we chose a different spelling for Ashleigh. It was actually my Dad that suggested it. It is the British spelling and I am very sentimental and traditional when it comes to things like that. When Ashleigh was two she had her first visit to the beach house we love so much in California. My Uncle Roy Ditty was there and he sang a little song to Ashleigh that forever more became her song. It goes like this:

A is for apple
B for bear
C is for Ashleigh on a chair
all the world will never, never
know the love I have for my Ashleigh-o
my Ashleigh-o, my Ashleigh-o
the love I have for my Ashleigh-o



Ashleigh loved The Little Mermaid, Osh Kosh B' Gosh, pretties in her hair, sitting on her Daddy's back and eating popcorn with him, her boys, her best friend Morgan, and much, much more. When Ashleigh was 3 years, 3 months and 3 days old she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was a shock and indescribably heartbreaking. There were many challenges throughout the next year, but many joys as well. We hoped and prayed for a miracle and although we didn't receive the miracle we wanted so badly we saw many little miracles along the way. Our family was truly blessed during that difficult time. It was on the morning of September 17, 1991 that Ashleigh peacefully left us. She was 4 years, 4 months and 4 days old. As we met at the mortuary later that day to make funeral arrangements I was asked if there was any special saying that I would like printed on the program. I said, "yes ...." I then proceeded to recite the last line of Ashleigh's song. It would seem appropriate to close this post with the refrain of that little song:

"....all the world will never, never know the love I [still] have for my Ashleigh-o...."