Family Friday: Featuring My Nephew Christopher and My Daughter Ashleigh

There is hope smiling brightly before us...

My parents have twenty-three grandchildren. Andy came first, then Jeffrey, and then Jeremy. All three mine. In October of 1985, two months after Jeremy's second birthday, Melissa was born to Tim and Margie; she was the first granddaughter. At the time of Melissa's birth Granma made a prediction that there would be three new grandchildren in the near future and she was right. Early in 1987 and within four months of each other arrived three new babies. Today's "Family Friday" features two of those babies; Christopher and Ashleigh.

Christopher was born on February 7, 1987. An unusual occurrence happened during his birth which was by Cesarean section; Christopher's forehead was cut with the Doctor's scalpel. I remember seeing him for the first time the following day, he was such a beautiful baby boy. There was a thin bandage around his head protecting his wound which had been carefully repaired; with his beautiful brown skin and an abundance of black hair, at first glance I thought he looked like a tiny papoose wearing his miniature headband. But he was Christopher; one of Heavenly Father's most valiant spirits.

Christopher knew and loved each of us in his family. I'm confident that that includes those family members that didn't have the privilege of meeting him here. He was an intelligent child with an enthusiasm for life. He loved his mommy and daddy and there was absolutely no question that they loved and adored him; and they still do.

Mike reminded me of a "tender moment" he had when he saw Christopher and Marivic at Albertsons one day. Christopher's response when he saw his Uncle Mike at a place that wasn't where he would normally see him was, "is it you?" Yes it was, and Uncle Mike loves that memory that he has of Christopher. I had a similar experience about the same time. One day Alan brought Christopher over to be tended, I had gone on a quick errand and Alan left Christopher with my older boys. When I arrived home Christopher was standing at the top of the stairs and with a big smile proclaimed, "I'm here!" I couldn't help but share his enthusiasm as I exclaimed, "and I'm so happy that you are!"

Ashleigh was born on May 13, 1987, it was a beautiful spring day. Ashleigh was the perfect answer to a mother's prayer. She brought her daddy, her mommy, and her "boys" much love and joy. My joy was so full at having a daughter, that many of my tasks as the mother of a newborn seemed so much lighter. Even getting up at 2 am seemed easier. The boys were delighted to have a sister and they loved and served Ashleigh with all of their hearts. Ashleigh loved "my boys" as she called them, with all of her heart as well. Ashleigh too, was one of Heavenly Father's most valiant spirits.

Ashleigh loved her daddy. Occasionally on an evening, Michael would be lying on the floor watching TV and Ashleigh would sit on his back. There would be a big bowl of popcorn in front of Michael, and Ashleigh would lean over his shoulders to reach in for her share. Sometimes we played a little game that went like this: I would say to Ashleigh, "he's my Babycakes", and I would point to Mike. "No, he's my Babycakes", she would reply. We would go back and forth trying to decide whose "Babycakes" he was, Mike loved it! Sometimes I would start the game and sometimes Ashleigh would, and then there were the times that Ashleigh would say, "he's my Babycakes", and I would say, "you can have him."

Christopher and Ashleigh were playmates as well as cousins. I don't think it matters what age a child is... when you get more than one of them together they can come up with some clever ideas. Ashleigh's bedroom wall had a small hole in it, it was about the size of a door knob, actually the door knob caused the hole. One day I found Christopher and Ashleigh in her room, having a great time dropping toy blocks into the hole in the wall. Consequently, another hole had to be cut into the bottom of the wall to retrieve the blocks, and... a few other toys that we found in the process. Eventually both holes were repaired.

Christopher was a smart little boy and he spoke very well. One day while he and Ashleigh were watching "Bambi" some butterflies appeared on the screen. Ashleigh pointed to them and referred to them as "fafa flies". Christopher looked so surprised and kindly informed her that they weren't "fafa flies, they are butterflies." Ashleigh loved "The Little Mermaid" and quite often per our request mimicked Ariel as she sang Part of Your World on her make believe rock.

At the beginning of "Family Friday" it was suggested to me that it would be neat to post a picture of me with the featured family member. That was a great idea, but I don't have very many pictures of me with individual family members. I am grateful to have this picture with me, Christopher, and Ashleigh; together.

Throughout my life I have heard people use the word "heartbroken" countless times. It wasn't until December 12, 1989; more than 31 years into my life that I discovered that the word "heartbroken" or "heartbreak" has very real meaning, and that having a broken heart is a very real physical pain.

It seems that most of the days in our lives begin in a routine manner; that's how it was for me that December morning. I was being a mom and getting my boys out the door to school, getting Ashleigh and myself ready for the day, I had projects to finish for Christmas which was less than two weeks away, and my Christmas party was only five days away. It was my brother's last day of school for the semester and Christopher was coming over to be tended. When Alan returned to pick up Christopher I had no idea that that would be the last time I would see him. Later that afternoon when I received the phone call, I remember seeing the partially filled cup that Christopher had been drinking from just hours earlier sitting on the kitchen counter. I did not know when I woke up that morning, that when I returned to my bed that night that the lives of our family; and most especially Alan and Marivic, would be changed forever.

August 16, 1990 started out as a beautiful summer day. The sky was blue, the sun was shining and I felt great. The previous evening a good friend who is a nurse, expressed concern to me about Ashleigh and suggested that I take her to her pediatrician. Everything seemed fine that morning and I thought to myself, "Ashleigh is okay, I don't need to take her to the Doctor." I was immediately impressed that I must take her to the Doctor. There are a lot of details that go into the events of that day that I won't take the time to share here, but by the time I left St. Benedict's hospital that afternoon, the beauty of the day had been replaced with black clouds and pouring rain. It was as if the heaven's mourned with me as I learned that my precious daughter, my perfect answer to prayer, had a brain tumor. When I went to my bed that night, again the lives of our family; most especially Michael, myself, and our four children had changed forever.

Things to know about Christopher's family: Christopher was the first child in his family, he never had the opportunity to associate with his siblings Tara and AJ as most children do. But they know him and love him and he is still their big brother. As I have been reading Alan and Marivic's 25th anniversary series my heart has been touched as I have read about the sacrifices that Marivic made to come to America; her life has been greatly blessed because she came, but it hurts to think of our Filipina sister enduring the experience that she did without her mama and papa and her siblings by her side. I remember that December twenty years ago, when I looked at Alan it hurt me to think that I would never see my brother smile again. I have seen my brother smile, and I've heard him laugh many times. Alan and Marivic are good people, they are my heroes and I love them.

Christopher's family: Tara, Marivic, Alan, and AJ

Things to know about Ashleigh's family: On the morning of September 17, 1991 Ashleigh returned home to our Heavenly Father. During the previous thirteen months our faith, love, determination, hope... increased as we endured (and I think well) and accepted our Heavenly Father's will for Ashleigh and our family. On March 17, 1993 we were blessed with a gift; Caitlin Rose. We have been blessed with the love and comfort of our three sons. As you look at the expressions on the faces of "her boys" in the picture below; I think we came through it pretty well, and I think Ashleigh would agree.

Ashleigh's family: Jeremy, Emily, Mason, Michael, Lesley, Zachary, Caitlin, Adam, Kristin, William, Andy, Melissa, Avery, and Jeffrey

Some things to know about Christopher and Ashleigh: Doctrine & Covenants 137:10. Christopher and Ashleigh are lights to our family. I love them both with all of my heart and soul. I look forward to the day when I will see them again, maybe then I will be the one to say (with a big smile on my face), "I'm here!"

Family Friday: Featuring My Sister (by marriage) Marivic

This week on Family Friday I'm featuring another of my sibling "in-laws"; Marivic. While serving a mission in the Philippines, my brother Alan met his future wife, he recognized right away that there was something special about this young woman. While Alan was still on his mission, Marivic was called to serve a mission in another Philippine mission. After Marivic's mission was completed, Alan went back to the Philippines to court her. A few months later Marivic arrived in the United States and they were married in the Salt Lake Temple on April 26, 1985.

I love this picture of Marivic as a child, it is the inspiration of the title of her blog Little Grumpy Angel. Marivic's blog attracted a lot of attention and she made a lot of new friends in the blogging world, recently Marivic started a new blog titled Thankful For The Ride which she shares with the extended family. She is a wonderful writer and so enjoyable to read, she was featured in Mormon Women last month in an article written by herself. It is well worth reading. I've learned a lot of interesting things that I didn't know about Marivic as I have read her blog, and I've seen a few pictures that have "surprised" me too (such as the one below).
Marivic (front and center) and co-workers. Is this what is commonly known in the workplace as casual Friday?

Although for most of the nearly twenty-five years that I have known Marivic she has lived outside of Utah, I always feel comfortable when I am with her. I have stayed in her home on several occasions and we have shared many vacations together. Nearly three years ago Mike and I spent several days in Southern California with Marivic and Alan. The four of us spent a day at Disneyland and a few days at the beach. One day the four of us just sat on the beach talking for hours without moving from our spot. One of the things I love about Marivic is that she is always uplifting to be around. She is a positive influence and I always feel good when I am with her. Marivic has met with opposition and heartbreak in her life; she has faced these experiences with dignity and grace. She is a great example to me.

Things you may or may not know about Marivic: She is a very talented writer and photographer. She is popular in the blog world. She's always fun to be with. She doesn't like water, but in an attempt to be a good sport she went on a ride at a water park and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. Marivic always looks good, she knows clothes and how to wear them. I always feel welcome and comfortable in her home. She collects Madame Alexander dolls. When she arrived in the US she lived in our home for several weeks until her wedding day. She has been a United States citizen for many years. She keeps herself aprised of all the current issues. She has good taste in decorating her home. She's a good wife and Mother. Marivic works as a Revenue Manager for a large hotel chain, in other words; she is very important. To the family she is known as VicVic. She is the Ate (big sister) in her family, and treats me as the Ate (respected position) in my family. She graduated from college in the Philippines. She is very smart. She's a good sport. She is an artist. She likes chocolate. She likes to read good books. She is funny. We are all grateful and blessed to have Marivic in our family, and we love her.

Marivic's family: Alan, Marivic, Tara, and AJ

Family Friday: Featuring My Nephew AJ

This is my tall, dark, and handsome nephew AJ (Alan Jesse; after each of his Grandfathers). AJ was born in Salt Lake City, but while he was still a baby his family began their adventures in Nevada and Arizona, and now they reside in Rocklin, California. AJ is just a few weeks away from his seventeenth birthday and is starting his Jr. year in high school.

I have known AJ since the day that he was born. His birth was a great blessing to our family much like his sister Tara's was. AJ was very young when his family moved to Reno and then to Yuma. I was able to go visit them in both towns. For AJ's 3rd birthday Caitlin and I flew to San Diego where AJ's family picked us up at the airport and we spent the next two days at Seaworld and Disneyland. I remember asking AJ what his daddy's name was and he would reply in a very serious tone, "Alan....Jr." It was so cute.

Although AJ has spent most of his life living away from our Utah family, we have been able to spend a lot of time with him through the years. Sometimes it has been AJ's family visiting Utah and at other times our family visiting California. We've shared many trips to the beach house, Cherry Hill, The drive-in theater during one summer visit, cousin field trips, multiple trips to Disneyland, 17-mile-drive, the 18th hole at Pebble Beach, and many other fun adventures.

AJ catching a wave at San Clemente

This summer while on our family vacation at the beach house, AJ was stung by a bee. The sting which was on his hand started to swell, it was also hot and red. There was a little bit of a fuss made as concerned family members were putting in their "two cents", should he or should he not go to the Doctor? A couple of days later while we were at Disneyland, AJ's Dad took him to the hospital while the rest of us stayed and enjoyed the park. AJ was just fine, and it turns out that they probably spent longer in line (ER) than any of the rest of us did that day.

Things to know about AJ: He is one of four Alan's in our family. He played football during his Freshman year. He is a songwriter. He is a fabulous guitar player. He's funny. He has traveled to the Philippines. He associates with good friends. He is one of only three grandsons that can carry on the Marsden name (thank goodness they are all good looking). He has great hair. He's a good sport. He is a good son and brother. He has a nickname; AJax. He likes sushi. He has a dog named Jake. He always lets me give him a hug. He's respectful. He is a "Golden Boy". He has a great smile. I know that we are all so glad that AJ is in our family and we all love him too.

AJ's family: Alan, Marivic, AJ, and Tara

Family Friday: Featuring My Niece Tara

When God closes a door; he opens a window.

I love opening the windows. I especially love it first thing in the morning when I open the blinds and then slide the windows open and the rooms are suddenly filled with light and a breath of fresh air. Less than 10 months after her older brother Christopher passed away, and just weeks after her cousin Ashleigh was diagnosed with a brain tumor, the birth of Tara brought light and a breath of fresh air to our family. Tara was a beautiful baby girl who brought a lot of joy and healing with her. It is appropriate that her middle name is Angela, she was truly an angel to all of us. She has always been an angel to me.

I had the opportunity to babysit Tara when she was a baby. We all loved her at our house, it was fun to have a baby around. Ashleigh, who was nearly 3 1/2 when Tara was born often referred to her as "my baby", her little friends had baby brothers and sisters so I think she must have "adopted" Tara as hers.

When Tara was a pre-schooler her family moved away from Utah. It was very difficult to see them go. When they came back for visits or if we went to visit them we could always count on big smiles and hugs from Tara. She has always been a beautiful girl with a beautiful smile. For many years we had all hoped that Tara's family would come back to Utah, but I think that Tara was destined to be a California girl.

For many years during the summer Tara and her younger brother AJ would come to visit. Although they stayed at Granpa and Granma's house we always had a least one sleepover with Tara, Caitlin, and Chelsea. Tara was the oldest by a few years and I always thought that she was a nice "big" cousin for spending time with her younger cousins who thought that she was pretty cool. During a visit one summer Tara, Caitlin, and I watched the entire 6 hours of Pride And Prejudice in less than 2 days, and we all loved Mr. Darcy.

Two summers ago we went to the beach house with Tara's family and Granpa and Granma. Tara, Marivic, Caitlin, and I went to LA to see the musical Wicked together. It was a fun and memorable evening.

Some fun things to know about Tara: She loves to read and to write (check out her blog), she loves to sing and has performed in her high school musicals (including the lead), she was a cheerleader in Jr. high school, she attended the 1st and 2nd grade in one school year,
she has a sense of style, in elementary school she had her own club called "The Tara-dactils", her senior pictures were so beautiful last year that her photo was front and center on the advertising mail out for this years senior's, she has been to the Philippines, she visited Ireland and England last summer, she's artistic, she's a college student, she's beautiful inside and out, she loves her family, she works at a shoe store, she loves sushi, she has a dog named Jake.

Our family was truly blessed on the day that Tara was born. I am so grateful that she's in our family and I hope she knows how much we love her.

Tara's picture on the advertisement

Family Friday: Featuring My Brother Alan

I am the oldest of my parents six children; I have four brothers and a favorite sister. The first of my siblings to be featured on Family Friday is Alan.

Alan is the 4th child in our family, and the first to be born in America. He is just 5 years younger than me and is the first child in the family that I can actually remember as a baby. He is also named after my Dad. He isn't "officially" a Jr. but when you have two Alan's in the family (especially during the years when they both lived in the same house) there are times when they need to be clarified as Sr. and Jr.; case in point: When Alan was in high school a teenage girl called on the phone one day and asked for Alan. As was our families practice the girl was asked, "Sr. or Jr.?" makes sense, right? The girls response (giggle, giggle), "sophomore."

Shortly after I became engaged to Mike I started a new job at the Church Office Building. I would often tell my family stories of seeing the general authorities and even the Prophet in the building or on the grounds. When Alan was in Jr. High on school holidays he would often ride the bus to Salt Lake and come to visit me at my office. He was hoping that he would see the Prophet; Spencer W. Kimball. That hope was finally realized when he did see the Prophet and the Prophet spoke to him. As I think about that now it impresses me to think of the faith of such a young boy and his desire to see Gods Prophet. I am so glad that he had that experience.

Alan served a mission to the Philippines, it was there that he met his future wife Marivic. They were married in the Salt Lake Temple on April 26, 1985; one year after Alan returned from his mission.

Alan has always been an excellent brother and Uncle. He was always willing to tend my kids for me whenever I needed him. He and Marivic stayed with the boys for two weeks when Mike and I went to England in 1992. Many times he took my boys on adventures. One that I particularly remember was when the Utah Jazz were coming home one night after a big game, many fans were congregating at the airport to greet the team and Alan called to see if the boys would like to go. They were all very excited to go and Jeremy (he was only 4 or 5) took his basketball with him so that he could get the teams autographs. At some point in the evening Alan couldn't find Jeremy (it was only a minute but if you knew Jeremy back then you'd understand). It was just a few moments later that Alan heard his name called over the PA system asking him to report to one of the counters. There was Jeremy sitting on top of the counter holding his basketball which was filled with autographs, and airport personnel standing by to make sure that he was "found".

My three boys weren't the only ones who enjoyed Uncle Alan's adventures; on our last trip to the beach house he took Caitlin to Disneyland along with his children Tara and AJ. Here are just a few of the adventures that I've been on with Alan: Sea World, Disneyland (with and without kids), 17-mile Drive, Pebble Beach, Monterey Bay, San Francisco, Reno, Lake Tahoe (when I visited Alan in Reno he said let's go to dinner, but we didn't just go to dinner in Reno, we drove to the California side of Lake Tahoe so that we could say that we ate dinner in California), Mexico (when Alan lived in Yuma he was just minutes away from the Mexican border, we drove to the border and then walked into the town of Algodones for a few minutes and then walked out and drove home). I've had opportunities to visit Alan and his family in every town that they have lived in. Alan always makes sure that we have a good time. He is always interested in going places and seeing new things. I am sure that taking a ride down the Legacy Highway is on the top of Alan's things-to-do list on his next trip to Utah.

Alan is an amazingly motivated and talented man. He worked at both KTVX and KSL television stations (not at the same time) while attending high school and then the U of U. He wanted to someday become an anchorman. After graduating from the U of U, his young families adventures began in Reno where he was a news reporter; then they went to Yuma, AZ.; Salinas, CA; and now they live in Rocklin, CA. Alan is currently an anchorman in Chico, California.

I cannot write about Alan without mentioning the significant life altering experience that he and I have both had, and that is of the death of a child. Our children were born just a few months apart, were playmates as well as cousins, and died within two years of each other. I know that one day during the millenium when all of our other siblings will be empty nesters, Alan and I will once again be raising pre-schoolers and trading baby sitting just as we did twenty years ago.

I love my brother Alan and I'm so grateful that he is in our family. If anyone has had an adventure with Alan or just wants to say how great he is....thanks for sharing!

Alan, Marivic, Tara, and AJ